Insults these days are taken so seriously. They’re all so insulting, but I prefer the kind that brings a belly laugh to both the roaster and the roastee. Here are some silly putdowns I’ve come across or created specifically for the holiday season, sorted into tiers of savagery.
Feel free to share your suggestions! Good luck trying to sneak them past the Dread Automoderator, and apologies in advance to whoever has to update our list of banned keywords with entries like “gastropustule.” I’ll continue to add to the list and update the rankings over time. Hopefully, this will distract us all from our work for many hours.
You’re all a bunch of…
S-Tier
Fart custards, belch fanciers, and failed armpits…
A-Tier
Cheesewits and blunderbusybodies…
B-Tier
Honkstewers, carping toilet seats, cone polishers, and pseudonauts…
C-Tier
Gutterguards, bellowing yolks, soiled baguettes, hairy earfuls, and barking dinosaurs…
D-Tier
Tonsils, trufflers, tricklehumpers, and blown gaskets…
E-Tier
Sparkling prunes and cumberwalds, stinky dapplings, and gastropustules…
F-Tier
Footpads, salamanders, corpsers, quisbies, and frisbees…
Your turn.
